all ways 11 o'clock

I read today,
This morning.
I read and bled.
Bled out, heels tied up
Swinging ready
For the carver knife.

A phrase people know,
 Who have been there,
“once, always”
Ringing in my head.
Images of dirty floor mattresses
Tattoo veins over fucked veins still in use.
Death, yes real death in a corner hotel room
Broken window storm night cold
as care absent, reined high.

Everyday you think this, get through
A little easier until years past when confronted
Through someone’s bleeding
You are right back there
In
"once, always".

I say the obvious cliché,
Sorry, but
True enough.
It does get better with
Time
Belief in self
Worth the time invested
Again,
And again.